Years ago, I was wandering the aisle of my local Kroger, scratching my head and wondering why I could not find Lemon Coolers cookies by Sunshine. I was confused, then hurt, then angry; Keebler bought Sunshine and discontinued Lemon Coolers! No indication why and certainly no warning. I became bereft.
But I still had my beloved Lemon Jumble cookies by Jackson's. It's just not summertime in Tennessee without Lemon Jumbles. They are simultaneously crisp and soft; crumbly, not chewy. And lemony without being tart and a treat without being too sweet. They are the perfect lemon cookie. But when I moved to Nashville, I had trouble finding them. So I made sure to stock up on each trip I made to Memphis, often hiding at least one box from Mr. Eats to ensure I would get my fill before the next trip.
So as Grammy Eats was preparing for her recent trip to visit, I asked her to buy a box or five to bring to us. A few hours later, I got the email, "They've been discontinued. Sorry."
An outrage! Who's to blame for this? Keebler (K-evil-er). They purchased the brand along with others in the late 90s and were themselves by Kellogg's in 2001. Kellogg's and Keebler: you're on my list. And it's not the good list.
Also, Kellogg's? Your website is crap. Both your websites are crap (http://www.kelloggcompany.com/ and http://www.kelloggs.com/en_US/home/our-brands.html). The search filters do not work. It only allows you to search for cereals and breakfast foods. Which made it very difficult for me to realize I will now have to give up my Morningstar Farms fake bacon and Gardenburgers, which have always been my favorite veggie burgers. Though I expect as it has gotten more difficult to find Gardenburgers in stores, you're planning to discontinue them, too.
And, look, Kellogg's, I get it. I'm a corporate refugee. I know business plans, balance sheets, and market analysis. I understand why you discontinued products such as "Raisins, Rice and Rye," "Key Largo Coconut Cookies," and "Banana Bubbles." But Lemon Jumbles? Senseless and cruel. So I turn my back on you as you have done to me. I will make my own veggie burgers. I will eschew fake meats. I will buy store-brand crisped rice cereal to make my treats. Goodbye, Kellogg's.