So, after making heart attack-inducing salted caramel ice cream, I decided to change things up a bit and make some chocolate ice cream using what I'd learned to make it less rich.
Problem? What I'd learned was not the right thing to learn.
I started out with this chocolate ice cream recipe from Gourmet. Kinda. Because I don't have a vanilla bean (just my vanilla extract from Mexico) and I was too lazy to find the right chocolate. I bought a bar of baking chocolate and added sugar.
BIG mistake #1: using a bar of unsweetened baking chocolate and just adding sugar.
Then, of course, I used up the last cup of heavy (read: butter-makin') cream, 2 cups of whole milk and 3/4 of a cup of water. And one egg.
BIG mistake #2: using just one egg. The egg doesn't make it rich; the egg keeps the ice cream from turning into a boulder in your freezer. Noted.
Blah-biddy-blah, I whipped it up essentially using the instructions from the salted caramel ice cream, added some semi-sweet chocolate chips and ended up with a dark chocolate goo that tasted and felt like a really thick, chocolatey pudding. A quick check on the innertubes confirmed that, minus the cornstarch I had, indeed made a pudding. Regardless, it tasted pretty good, so I set up the ice cream maker and started to pour the mess in. But then I stopped it briefly because of the mess it made and, well I think you know what happened next...I couldn't continue churning.
BIG mistake #3: turning off the ice cream maker's churn for even half a second. This is the SECOND time I have done this. I hope there is never a third.
By this time, I was tired and feeling pretty defeated. So I let the mess thaw and just poured it back into a bowl. And then set it in the freezer.
BIG mistake #4: just freezing that ice cream mix that was really a pudding means the yield was just a big frozen pudding. And with just one medium egg, it was hard as a rock.
Not only that, but it ceased to taste good. I don't know if by that time, I hated the shit so much that I just imagined it tasted bad or that something had actually happened to it. But even the husband didn't care for it. So I thawed out the boulder of "ice cream" and poured (scooped) it down the drain (24 hours later).
But I shall not be defeated. I have more milk and more heavy (whipping) cream at home and will, at some point find some decent chocolate.
Or I will just make vanilla ice cream and add those peaches I put in the freezer a month ago.